Defense mechanisms are our mind’s way of keeping us safe from stress, anxiety, or painful memories. They can be a quick excuse, a joke when we’re uncomfortable, or just ignoring something that hurts. But when they are in charge, they can stop us from growing emotionally and facing the truth. What can we do about it then? Let’s look more closely at what these mechanisms are, why we use them, and how we can start to break free.
What Are Defense Mechanisms?
In short, defense mechanismsare mental tricks that the egouses without thinking about them to keep itself from feeling anxious or uncomfortable. They can be good or bad, helping us deal with hard times—or, if we use them too much, changing how we see things. Defense mechanisms can be helpful in the short term, but if we rely on them for too long, they can hurt us emotionally.
Over 25% of adultsrely on at least one defense mechanism, and when we use one, it’s likely we’re also using others.
A Little History: Where They Came From
The idea of defense mechanisms comes from Sigmund Freud, who was the first to write about it. Later, Freud’s daughter, Anna Freud, built on his work and established 10 classic types. Researchers now know of more than 30 different mechanisms, some of which are connected to mental health problems and others that help explain normal development.
The Complete List: Common and Uncommon Defense Mechanisms
Defenses We All Use Every Day
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Avoidance—staying away from people or situations that make you uncomfortable.
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Compensation—Doing better in one area to make up for what you think you lack in another.
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Denial—not accepting truths or facts that make you uncomfortable.
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Displacement—putting your feelings on someone or something else that is safer (like getting mad at your spouse after a bad day at work).
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Humor—using jokes to get out of serious feelings or situations that make you feel bad.
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Intellectualization—thinking too much about something to avoid feeling the feelings that come with it.
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Projection—putting your own bad feelings or actions on other people.
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Rationalization—making up “logical” excuses for things you do that are really based on feelings.
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Regression—going back to childlike behaviors or reactions when you’re stressed out (like throwing a tantrum).
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Repression—Not remembering or feeling painful things on purpose.
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Suppression—deliberately pushing away bad thoughts.
Defenses That Happen Less Often But Are Strong
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Anticipation—getting ready too much for a future threat or problem.
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Conversion—Making mental pain into physical symptoms (for example, stress can cause headaches).
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Identification—Copying how other people act or taking on their personality traits.
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Isolation of Affect—Talking about things without showing any emotion, as if you weren’t there.
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Reaction Formation—Doing something that goes against how you really feel (for example, being too nice to someone you don’t like).
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Schizoid Fantasy—going into a private world to get away from emotional pain.
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Sexualization—Putting sexual meaning on things or relationships that aren’t sexual.
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Splitting—Looking at things in black and whitewith no gray areas.
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Sublimation—turning negative feelings or urges into useful activities.
Why Do We Use Them? What Makes Defense Mechanisms Work
Our minds use defense mechanisms to keep our psychological balance. This is why people use them:
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To reduce conflict within ourselves: They keep us from feeling overwhelmed by anxiety, pain, or trauma.
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To keep your self-esteem high:They help us feel good about ourselves, especially when we feel scared.
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To avoid emotional overload: They keep us from being overwhelmed by hard feelings by shutting them down or changing them.
But using defense mechanisms too much can backfire and cause problems with “distorted thinking,” “impulsivity,” and “reality testing.”
The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly: Pros and Cons
Good Points
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They help us control our feelingsin the short term. They protect you from trauma and emotional overload.
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They help us redirect attentionaway from overwhelming feelings so we can keep going.
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They can help keep relationships strong when things get tough.
Disadvantages
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They can cause “emotional repression,” which is when feelings are buried and never dealt with.
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They change reality, which makes it harder to deal with problems or face the truth.
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Over time, they can hurt relationshipsby causing misunderstandings or fights.
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They stop personal growthby keeping us from dealing with deeper emotional problems.
Seeing Defense Mechanisms in Action
It can be hard to see defense mechanisms in action, but with a little practice, you can learn how to do it.
Signs of Behavior That Are Common
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Humor: Making jokes at the wrong time, like when you’re having a serious talk.
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Avoidance: Using bad habits like drinking, shopping, or eating too much to deal with stress.
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Projection: Putting the blame on other people for things that are your fault.
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Intellectualization: Paying more attention to the details than to your feelings (for example, overthinking instead of dealing with your feelings).
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Regression: When an adult acts like a child, like throwing a fit when they’re upset.
Quick Questions to Ask Yourself
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Do I often feel like people don’t understand me, but I don’t take responsibility for my mistakes?
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Do I keep myself busy when I feel bad?
Breaking Free: From Unconscious Defenses to Conscious Coping
Taking off that armor isn’t easy. But you can start to move away from automatic defense mechanisms and toward healthier ways of dealing with stress. This is how:
The first step is to be aware of your defenses. You can find patterns by keeping a reflective journal, practicing mindfulness, and asking other people for their thoughts.
Step 2: Be Kind to Yourself
Shame is one reason we use defense mechanisms. Self-compassioncan help you feel less ashamed and give you room to be more honest with yourself.
It’s hard to see our own defenses, so ask a therapist, family member, or friend you trust for help. They can sometimes see what we miss.
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Mindfulness and meditationcan help you deal with uncomfortable feelings without running away from them.
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Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT)can help you question your distorted thoughts and replace them with healthier ones.
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Problem-solvingand assertiveness trainingcan help you deal with tough feelings without using defenses.
Step 5: Build Your Self-Esteem
You won’t feel the need for defense mechanisms as much if you are more confident. You don’t have to be afraid of being vulnerable if you trust yourself.
When to Get Professional Help
It might be time to get help if you notice that your defense mechanisms are getting in the way of your relationships, work, or emotional intimacy.
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Trauma-related avoidance or mood disorders are common reasons to look for specialized therapy, such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR), or psychodynamic therapy.
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Studies show that 75% of peoplebenefit from psychotherapy, and early interventioncan dramatically improve outcomes.
Important Points
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It’s normal to have defense mechanisms, but if you don’t keep an eye on them, they can become maladaptive.
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The first step in going from unconscious defense to conscious coping is to be aware.
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We can learn to take off our protective armor and face life more fully through therapy, self-reflection, and skill-building.
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